Pabulum

Dear Senator Obama

First of all, let's get one thing clear right off the bat: You've had four debates with Senator Clinton, not twenty-one.

Okay, now that we've got that bit of accounting out of the way, I wanted to run something else by you and see what you thought.

Now, I totally understand what you mean when you say that you'd rather spend your time talking to the people of Indiana and North Carolina about what matters to you, rather than spending it in debate with your opponent. That's good for you and great for the people who are about to cast their primary votes. But here's the thing: That's exactly what Senator Clinton is proposing. It's win/win!

And really -- not to get too excited about this, but it really is very exciting -- it's even better than that. In the debates Senator Clinton is proposing, not only will you get to talk about what's important to you, but you'll also get to talk about what's important to Senator Clinton. And vice versa, too -- she'll have to talk about what's important to you! What could be better than that? In addition to highlighting your key areas of personal concern, you'll both be able to draw out those all-important differences between yourselves by having the other talk about those things where your degrees of interest and concern may not be at the same level.

Let's not forget, the President does have a lot of say in setting the agenda for his term in office, but he doesn't quite get to pick and choose every issue that will come to the forefront and be important to the country. So debates in general are a good thing, since they force candidates to talk about those things they may not feel the need to bring up in a speech, but which just may rear up once the election has passed. And these debates in particular are an even better thing, because not only can we, the voters, compare and contrast your answers to questions, but we get an even deeper insight into each candidate by seeing, side by side, which issues each candidate sees fit to bring up at all, whether because you think it's important or because you think it'll illustrate a key difference between the two of you.

So, Senator Obama, I really hope you take this letter to heart. I understand you may be growing weary of debates, but this is a totally new kind of debate in this race, and one which offers you exactly the opportunities you say you would like to move beyond debates in order to pursue! Please, accept Senator Clinton's invitation. We'll all be the richer and the wiser for it.

"It'll Happen" Saturday Screenshot

Yeah, I missed a few weeks again. It'll happen. And I guarantee you I'll miss next week, since I will be nowhere near my DVDs for the weekend and will not be able to take the screenshot.

That being said, here's last week's:

Saturday Screenshot #16 Answer

And for this week, another gimme, hoping to entice someone, anyone out there to take a guess.

Saturday Screenshot #17

"Twice in a Week" Saturday Screenshot

Last week's answer:

Saturday Screenshot #15 Answer

The interesting thing about that one, at least to me, is that there's no title screen at the beginning of the movie. I had to fast forward to the beginning of the end credits to get that shot.

And the challenge this week was to find a representative, semi-iconic-within-the-standard-restraints-of-the-game shot without offending anyone. And that's this week's hint.

Saturday Screenshot #16

Saturnday Screenshot

Yeah, I know it's Sunday, but when you're almost a year late, what's one more day.

First things first, our previous answer, #441 in the database.

Saturday Screenshot #14 Answer

And now, our next one. I don't think the actor is identifiable by his profile, but if he is, I don't think it'd be the worst thing in the world to get someone to post the correct answer.

Saturday Screenshot #15

The Moment of Truth

There are more than a few problems with this show. It's too slow. As a game show, it's unique in that it's not a test of anything at all, worthwhile or not; it's pure voyeurism and schadenfreude.  (I don't buy the argument that it's testing the willingness to be truthful; this is mere Russian roulette with electrodes.) They need another button. They have the button for the family members to veto a question, but they need a button for the contestant to press when he opts out, rather than an anti-climactic, "I wanna go home." Mark Walberg is the most personality-less television personality since Mr. Rogers, and at least Mr. Rogers meant to be that way.

These are all problems, but they're not the biggest problem. The biggest problem, and the aspect of the show I continually find the most interesting, is that the format of the show compels the audience to applaud all sorts of repugnant things. Mark will ask, "Have you ever stolen money from work and let someone else take the blame?" And when the contestant swallows his pride and discretion and every other instinct he's worked so hard to develop his entire life and says he has in order to get one step closer to earning a few bucks, the audience responds with applause that, if you didn't already know, makes quite clear that yes, a person can be mealy-mouthed with their hands. They have to applaud because everything said on the set of a game show gets applause, and I guess they're encouraged to applaud the contestant's coming clean, and I'm sure there's a sign telling them to applaud, but at root, they're applauding theft. And then, after the computerized voice drags out the confirmation twice as long as any reasonable person should think is necessary, they applaud again. This time ostensibly because the contestant has won more money, but once again without any enthusiasm, because really, who wants to applaud a confirmed thief?

Like I said, there are lots of problems with this show. But this one actually makes it kind of interesting to watch. I picture a contestant on this show in a few years' time answering a question. "Have you ever applauded an act you found morally reprehensible?"

Lady in the Water

They say an infinite number of monkeys typing on an infinite number of typewriters will eventually produce Shakespeare.

Well, Lady in the Water is what you'd get if an infinite number of monkeys tried to fit an infinite number of square pegs into an infinite number of round holes.

Really, it was remarkably bad. I should pay heed to the conventional wisdom more often.

"Here's Your Worm" Thursday Screenshot

That's an early-bird reference. Get it?

Friendly obligations force me to be out of town this weekend, so here's last week's answer and this week's screenshot, two days early. Rather than two months late.

Saturday Screenshot #13 Answer

And I'm gonna keep giving you easy ones until someone takes a shot.

Saturday Screenshot #14

Update: Whoops! Had this week's answer up there for a few minutes. Good thing the odds of someone stopping by to see it during that brief window are somewhere in the neighborhood of...well, there is no neighborhood. It's the kind of place Joe Pesci brings people to dig a big hole.

"A Long Time Comin'" Saturday Screenshot

Okey dokey, here's the answer none of you have been waiting for for months:

Saturday Screenshot #12 Answer

And now, here's what I consider a very easy one, in the hopes that it'll lure someone, anyone, out to take a guess:

Saturday Screenshot #13

Thank You, IE7

For improving my internet experience in myriad ways.

By getting me to switch to Firefox.

Let me first say I was perfectly happy with IE6. If there were no IE7, I would have continued using 6 till the end of my days, perfectly content with everything it did for me. Then Yahoo told me I should update to IE7, because it was so much better.

And it was! It had all these great new features that I loved using and made my entire internet experience more useful and fun. Unfortunately, on average, I couldn't take advantage of any three of these features in a row without IE7 crashing on me. As you can imagine, it was quite frustrating.

I considered switching back to IE6, but I was unwilling to part with all these life-changing features. Then, an epiphany: Firefox, which I had used in different environments for a variety of reasons, has all these features, and typically doesn't crash on me 1% as often as IE7 does. And from there, that was it. Here I post from Firefox for the first time, and I'm not even thinking of going back. So once again, thank you, IE7, for improving my internet experience tenfold.

(Truth be told, there are as of yet two things I still prefer about IE7 (well, one about IE7 in particular and one about IE in general). One, in IE7, the option to have multiple tabs open upon start-up is fantastic. I haven't found that in Firefox. Does it exist? And as for IE generally, it integrates with Live365 (an outstanding internet radio site that lately I haven't been without for more than ten minutes at a time) like a dream, playing the stations right through the browser rather than forcing me to open the station links in a dedicated audio program, as Firefox does.)

(Mostly) Blind Predictions

I'm always awful at picking the Oscars, because I give way too much credit to the voters and never learn, but here goes:

Best Picture: The Departed
Director: Martin Scorsese
Actor: Forest Whitaker
Actress: Helen Mirren
Supporting Actor: Eddie Murphy
Supporting Actress: Jennifer Hudson
Adapted Screenplay: Children of Men
Original Screenplay: Babel
Cinematography: Children of Men
Editing: United 93
Art Direction: Pan's Labyrinth
Costume Design: Marie Antoinette
Score: Babel
Song: "Our Town" - Cars
Makeup: Pan's Labyrinth
Sound: Flags of Our Fathers
Sound Editing: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Visual Effects: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Animated: Happy Feet
Foreign Language: Pan's Labyrinth
Documentary: An Inconvenient Truth

And the flat-out guesses that always decide the office pool (it's fun to try to pick based on names):

Documentary Short: "The Blood of Yingzhou District"
Animated Short: "Maestro"
Live Action Short: "The Saviour"

 

Well, let's see how I do. Probably awful, as usual.